yummy.

Lunch at our house, much like millions of others across the world, except this is my Dylan, and I am melting. This little guy is my best buddy, we really have such a great time. Our rapport is so easy, like breathing, we don't miss a step...except for today when we were raking more stinking leaves, I was breaking up the sticks and he ran around behind me. I was snapping a huge branch and he took it to the forehead. I thought I twigged him in the eye, but thank God he just has an abraison above his eyebrows. I felt like...just awful. He is fine. My little tank.

Into the woods...

We all took a long weekend up to Lake Placid, so I could go hiking and the kids could complain about it, I mean to spent time as a family and relax. Dylan was a natural and I really think he will be the one to join Bailey and me on our mission to hike the 47 high peaks.

We all look like such a together family, above arguing and screaming and fits and tantrums right? Our car ride home went like this....Claire shrieking taking everything away from Dylan causing him to wail. Then she would laugh and shriek this annoying high pitched sound that you just want to run away from. At this point Emily would have enough and hit her on the head then the shrieking would get LOUDER and more high pitched. At one point I actually told her that next year, if she did not behave, I would board her at a kennel, no a weasel farm and she would end up in a cage. She could care less, her mission in life is to piss me off. After an 3 hours of this, everyone finally quiets down and the farting begins. Aside from this we had a great time.

A Good Education Starts at Home

So the other day, I am sitting on the kitchen floor playing with Dylan and his blocks, and I say to Dylan, "Mommy has to go pee pee!" He looks at me, completely a man on a mission, and skip/runs to the bathroom singing " Pee pee pee pee pee peeeeeeee!!!" in quite a nice rhythm. I round the hallway corner and find him gallantly holding open the bathroom door for me. I am thinking how nice, when he says, "Dump???" And I reply, "No, just pee pee". I was crying, I was laughing so hard!

We spend our days grooving through the hours, hopping like bunnies, tweeting like birdies and using our hands to make our elephant trunks. We crawl around like puppies, hiss like snakes and pound our chests like gorillas. It is a great diversion to laundry, dinner and algebra homework (I am clueless). Sorry, I could not clean the bathrooms today because I was a cat, and cats don't clean. Food shopping??? I am a horsey, horsey's do not drive. TO further prove the point that I have lost my mind I drove to work (alone), with the Wonder Pets singing save the Clam and Tickle the Whale. I hate getting these songs stuck in my head. All day long I am (in my head) singing Save the Baby Clam!!!!

Anyway, has anyone out there read The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein? I finished it in 2 nights and was weeping from the start. I love a good old dog story, and not since Marley and Me have I cherished a book like this. It is a bittersweet tale about a man's life told by his dog Enzo.

Thank you everyone for all the birthday greetings! Below are my 3 guys. My husband really looks much older than he really, really, is. He looks good for almost 47. almost 37??? Whatever.

OMG!!! My birthday

Warning this a soul searching, tell all...my age...!!!!
Today is my birthday, I say it like a mistake. I would rather hold a rattlesnake than get any older. I don't know why, I don't try to look younger, I am stuck on a number (47, ugh!!) and I still cannot believe I am married, have a house and kids. Is it denial. I mean I know I am in charge but where are the adults. I am 47. There I said it. I still get pimples, have kickin PMS, 28 day cycles, and can run 6 miles in well under 55 minutes. I would rather hike to the sky, climb rocks, ride my bike to the store, stay up late, get more pets, and lie about my age, than be mature.

SO it is 1am... I just got home from a very busy 12 hour shift in the peds er. The kids and DH left me flowers and cards on the counter. I poured myself a big glass of wine because I am getting up in 5 hours and put some music on. Landside is the song I chose because I'm getting older too...

Can I handle the seasons of my life So far so good. My parents are alive and well. I consider this a gift. My parents had me late in life, my mother lost 5 babies I was the only one who survived. My mom worries about worrying, and my dad is the sweetest man I have ever met. I live in fear of loosing them. They argue over everything and have been married for 58 years and mom still talks about leaving. Driving in the car with them requires vodka and zoloft (lots of it).

Time makes you bolder No! I still suck at saying no. But I am working on that. I am also working on 10 pounds, career advancement, 7 minute miles, and endless patience.

Children get olderGod, yes they do. Why? WHy do they grow. I want to freeze them. Dylan melts me, Claire breaks me and Emily reminds me of the girl I used to be. The three of them make me believe in God or a higher force. They humble me. I make hard choices to keep them honest and safe. I would give my life for them. Easily. Wherever I sit I have 3 kids and Bailey on top of me. I am never alone, never lonely, even in the bathroom I have company. I only hope that when they are older they still love me and want me in their life. (I just poured my 2nd glas of wine at 1:30am, hey I am 47 I can do what I want!)
Children get older, just please do it slowly. I love you all just they way you are.

What is love? Love bushes against you, it hit you hard in the face. Love is so subtle my heart breaks when Dylan's lip pouts, Claire's fair weather friend leaves her alone for someone else, when Emily pulls me tight and tells me "I love you, you smell like Mommy". I need them like air. If this was all there was in life, smelling like Mommy and having your almost 13 year daughter hug you in front of her friend would be enough. I used to wear her in a sling and stare at her all day, kiss her all day. Now we laugh at Sarah Palin and talk about the stock market bailout! Hey I don't have cankles, let's celebrate!

I am getting older too Yeah so what... It is 2am and I just drank 2 glasses of wine. Who cares! 47? Yeah that sucks. But what the fuck!!!