Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year to all my blogger friends. I am sure I am not the only one who feels like this year has been a blurr! I always thought life in the fast lane was a glamorous adventure of parties, travel and martini's over business lunches. I now realize it is paying bills, cleaning toilets, homework, diapers and keeping toddlers from hanging on the chandeliers. I am in the fast lane. I am a fine tuned supersonic speed machine. That would be me, and everyone else I know who has been blessed with the gift of a family.

If there were no little hands plugging up the toilet with rolls of paper as I am running late for work where would I be. I would have no one to kiss all over as I am waiting on line in the grocery store, I am safe singing in public and dancing in the aisles because after all, it is for my kid. I also have a built in excuse for being late for work. Blame it on the kid? Absolutely. They are probably wondering why Dylan has so many explosive diapers perfectly timed as I am leaving for work. It won't work when he is 12, but for now I'm good!

In my diet programmed mind all things sinful are allowed when you have kids. Pumpkin, apple pie, cookies, ice cream, and pepperment bark. All good, as the kids really love it. Same for the toys. All over the room? I try to remember by sweet Aunt Irene who never had children. When we all descend upon her she loves the noise and chaos. She gets very sad and lonely when we leave. He house is always clean and perfect with original 1940's appliances and furniture in mint condition. How could a sofa or toaster last for 68 years? I cannot get a kitchen chair to last for a year. Anyway, the last time we left for home, she called me overjoyed to find a car and sock we forgot. A car and a sock? About 8 years ago the girls had put stickers on her bedroom door, she left them intact. "Signs of life" she tells me, her voice cracking with emotion. I feel how much I miss her, and know how much I will miss these "little signs of life" when my kids grow up.

So for a moment there is no traffic, no hustle and madness of this holiday season. There is only Dylan- umberella in hand hitting the ornaments off the Christmas tree, and climbing up the mantle by way of the stockings. Emily is texting AND listening to her ipod while IMing her friends on AIM,( in her skinny jeans and DC shoes). Claire is throwing her socks and shoes everywhere and giving everyone a hard time because she can! I love them all. I love them all. I never knew how much I would love them, worry about them, and crave them. Dylan padding towards me, blanket trailing.."MOMMY!" he says and hugs my leg like I'm his universe. Emily sharing laughs with me, arms wrapped around me in front of her friends! Claire shyly showing me the gumball ring her first crush gave her for Christmas. All these things are my gifts, my treasures from the family that I love so so very much!

I wish you all beautiful memories of you life, enjoy every minute. Signs of life is what we are.

Breakfast politics and peanut butter puffins

My Edible Bat

Cuteness comes in a small package sitting on my stairs

My little cat

Look out for the Bat Blogger, he has so much to say and is carefully monitoring the elections form his home computer. He can see a truck from his house, and is more qualified than your average maverick.

The Bat Blogger blows off stress my jumping in the bed.

You just have to admit that my little Bat has the market on adorable. He is the president and king of Cute Island!

yummy.

Lunch at our house, much like millions of others across the world, except this is my Dylan, and I am melting. This little guy is my best buddy, we really have such a great time. Our rapport is so easy, like breathing, we don't miss a step...except for today when we were raking more stinking leaves, I was breaking up the sticks and he ran around behind me. I was snapping a huge branch and he took it to the forehead. I thought I twigged him in the eye, but thank God he just has an abraison above his eyebrows. I felt like...just awful. He is fine. My little tank.

Into the woods...

We all took a long weekend up to Lake Placid, so I could go hiking and the kids could complain about it, I mean to spent time as a family and relax. Dylan was a natural and I really think he will be the one to join Bailey and me on our mission to hike the 47 high peaks.

We all look like such a together family, above arguing and screaming and fits and tantrums right? Our car ride home went like this....Claire shrieking taking everything away from Dylan causing him to wail. Then she would laugh and shriek this annoying high pitched sound that you just want to run away from. At this point Emily would have enough and hit her on the head then the shrieking would get LOUDER and more high pitched. At one point I actually told her that next year, if she did not behave, I would board her at a kennel, no a weasel farm and she would end up in a cage. She could care less, her mission in life is to piss me off. After an 3 hours of this, everyone finally quiets down and the farting begins. Aside from this we had a great time.

A Good Education Starts at Home

So the other day, I am sitting on the kitchen floor playing with Dylan and his blocks, and I say to Dylan, "Mommy has to go pee pee!" He looks at me, completely a man on a mission, and skip/runs to the bathroom singing " Pee pee pee pee pee peeeeeeee!!!" in quite a nice rhythm. I round the hallway corner and find him gallantly holding open the bathroom door for me. I am thinking how nice, when he says, "Dump???" And I reply, "No, just pee pee". I was crying, I was laughing so hard!

We spend our days grooving through the hours, hopping like bunnies, tweeting like birdies and using our hands to make our elephant trunks. We crawl around like puppies, hiss like snakes and pound our chests like gorillas. It is a great diversion to laundry, dinner and algebra homework (I am clueless). Sorry, I could not clean the bathrooms today because I was a cat, and cats don't clean. Food shopping??? I am a horsey, horsey's do not drive. TO further prove the point that I have lost my mind I drove to work (alone), with the Wonder Pets singing save the Clam and Tickle the Whale. I hate getting these songs stuck in my head. All day long I am (in my head) singing Save the Baby Clam!!!!

Anyway, has anyone out there read The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein? I finished it in 2 nights and was weeping from the start. I love a good old dog story, and not since Marley and Me have I cherished a book like this. It is a bittersweet tale about a man's life told by his dog Enzo.

Thank you everyone for all the birthday greetings! Below are my 3 guys. My husband really looks much older than he really, really, is. He looks good for almost 47. almost 37??? Whatever.

OMG!!! My birthday

Warning this a soul searching, tell all...my age...!!!!
Today is my birthday, I say it like a mistake. I would rather hold a rattlesnake than get any older. I don't know why, I don't try to look younger, I am stuck on a number (47, ugh!!) and I still cannot believe I am married, have a house and kids. Is it denial. I mean I know I am in charge but where are the adults. I am 47. There I said it. I still get pimples, have kickin PMS, 28 day cycles, and can run 6 miles in well under 55 minutes. I would rather hike to the sky, climb rocks, ride my bike to the store, stay up late, get more pets, and lie about my age, than be mature.

SO it is 1am... I just got home from a very busy 12 hour shift in the peds er. The kids and DH left me flowers and cards on the counter. I poured myself a big glass of wine because I am getting up in 5 hours and put some music on. Landside is the song I chose because I'm getting older too...

Can I handle the seasons of my life So far so good. My parents are alive and well. I consider this a gift. My parents had me late in life, my mother lost 5 babies I was the only one who survived. My mom worries about worrying, and my dad is the sweetest man I have ever met. I live in fear of loosing them. They argue over everything and have been married for 58 years and mom still talks about leaving. Driving in the car with them requires vodka and zoloft (lots of it).

Time makes you bolder No! I still suck at saying no. But I am working on that. I am also working on 10 pounds, career advancement, 7 minute miles, and endless patience.

Children get olderGod, yes they do. Why? WHy do they grow. I want to freeze them. Dylan melts me, Claire breaks me and Emily reminds me of the girl I used to be. The three of them make me believe in God or a higher force. They humble me. I make hard choices to keep them honest and safe. I would give my life for them. Easily. Wherever I sit I have 3 kids and Bailey on top of me. I am never alone, never lonely, even in the bathroom I have company. I only hope that when they are older they still love me and want me in their life. (I just poured my 2nd glas of wine at 1:30am, hey I am 47 I can do what I want!)
Children get older, just please do it slowly. I love you all just they way you are.

What is love? Love bushes against you, it hit you hard in the face. Love is so subtle my heart breaks when Dylan's lip pouts, Claire's fair weather friend leaves her alone for someone else, when Emily pulls me tight and tells me "I love you, you smell like Mommy". I need them like air. If this was all there was in life, smelling like Mommy and having your almost 13 year daughter hug you in front of her friend would be enough. I used to wear her in a sling and stare at her all day, kiss her all day. Now we laugh at Sarah Palin and talk about the stock market bailout! Hey I don't have cankles, let's celebrate!

I am getting older too Yeah so what... It is 2am and I just drank 2 glasses of wine. Who cares! 47? Yeah that sucks. But what the fuck!!!

The little gardener

Our mornings are simple. We walk Claire to school (1 mile), Bailey comes along as well. We go for a run (Dyaln in the stroller, Bailey pulls us). We come home and water the plants, weed and tidy up the garden. I love the routine. Dylan loves to help. My heart is like this big lump in my chest always ready to overflow with love for this little boy. He has my heart, he has my soul. Corny...yes. Sweet, loveable and certified heart tugging. He loves to smell the rosemary and the lavender. He has to look at every flower, touch all the rocks, and run up and down the path. He calls the squirels "kitty!", chipmonks too! All things cute and furry are "kitty!" Everything is wonderful when this little guy is around. He is like prozac. I am so blessed. Dylan there are so many little things you so that touch me. I love you little man.

Happy birthday Claire

Some cute little girl turned 10 on Sunday! How can I stop her from growing up? Last night when I called in from work she announced that she was wearing her red dress because she felt like twirling around the house in something pretty! Her little comments are priceless and I want to keep her in my pocket forever.

We lost a hamster Taco 2 weeks ago. She escaped. We looked EVERYWHERE! After 2 weeks I gave up and started sniffing/smelling for any....remains? I am compulsive and
all I can say thank God the hamster appeared after her extended vacation, because my sniffing is annoying, and no one would blame Chris for leaving. She (the hamster) is rested and 2 cats and 1 big goofy dog are not the wiser.

Something in common.

I think I need a blanket to suck on as well. The kids are back in school, Em is in grade 7, and CLaire in grade 5. They are keeping me so busy, between work and Dylan and all the other hohum crap (like dinner, diapers, painting, cooking and cleaning) I feel like sleeping. Dylan still is not making it through the night, and I am a zombie in the morning. I swear I might let him play with glass and shrapnel, as long as he is quiet in the morning.


We went to see Burn After Reading last night. Anyone else catch this movie? Quite strange. Parts of it were hilarious, and the other parts were weak.

Oh Dylan has a new word to add to eyes, ears, nose and mouth...PENIS! Yes, clear as a bell sounds like peeeen uss! Fantastic! Soon Bailey will start to say it, not that I encourage bad behavior, but we really crack up.

Yes, we are Simple!

So, we are are simpletons, making Dylan do anything cute over and over again. This is an example of our behavior, and yes we stand proud, we are simple and simply proud. YEAH!!!! Meow, buck-buck and oink oink, moo moo and baa baa! I can make my animal noises and I choose to share them with the world. I can sing the wiggles and dance like Capt. Feather-Sword. I can do this all day on command, and so can my husband.

Happy Adoption Day Emily and Dylan

The summer went speeding by, everybody is growing up too quickly. I cannot express how much this past year with Dylan, and the past 12 years with Emily have been nothing short of a zooming miracle. Emily's day was on Aug 20th, and as usual we spent it in Lake Placid. I remember when she was 6, I sang her Happy Adoption Day, on the lake by the light of the moon. The stars were bright. The night was wonderful. She was warm in my arms, my sweet darling daughter...

Fast forward 6 years...She walked off the dock in the light of the day, smiling ear to ear. Sun on her face so proud of herself for sailing around the lake on a Sunfish. She learned the skill at camp, and I was so proud of her. My buddy, my friend for life, my darling daughter is growing up. She hiked to the top of Algonquin with me, over 5100 feet, my reluctant hiking buddy (more on this in my next post).

Now we have Dylan, my third amazing kid. This year the little man has grown so. 21 pounds of constant movement. We can hardly get a picture of him, he is a blur. He is a happy dancing, smiling baby. He squeals with delight and loves to give hugs and kisses. Dylan loves animals (no surprise), and can make many animal sounds, his favorite is a sheep. I love it in the morning when I find him standing in his crib grinning at me. He aways has his fleece blanket in his little hand. He is a creature of habit just like his dad. The men in the house love routine, where as the girls thrive on chaos!

Happy adoption day to my 3 great August babies. Every year gets better and better. I pray we all stay close, healthy and love, love, love each other!

Happy Adoption Day Claire-bear.

Happy adoption day my little bear, my boo-ba-loo-baa! I love you! We have been a family for 9 years now and I cannot believe how wonderful you are. You are an amazing daughter, sister and friend. Everyone who knows you wants you, but you are my sweet little girl, and I am very blessed to have you.

We had a great day today. We looked for a bike to fit you, and ended up cleaning up Emily's old bike because it fit you best. You will be riding a 2 wheeler soon. I know you will. Then we went to dinner at you favorite place, Fridays. We came home and had Carvel cake. Good choice, it was yummy. Tomorrow we will go to Soho and check out all the fun stuff. I thank God for you, and not a day goes by that I do not realize how much I love you, and how lucky I am to be your mom.